Joe the Circle
Synopsis: Born on the planet Spheroid, Joe is an intergalactic adventurer of the most uncommon sort, inasmuch as most adventurers actually manage to accomplish something every now and then. Joe is a native of Galaxy Alpha, but was banished after he dropped a bowling ball on the galactic emperor’s foot during an awards ceremony. (It’s a long story.) Joe now wanders around Galaxy Beta with his friends Ronnie, Bert, Bob, and Franko.
Pet Peeves: Franko, things that try to eat him, and being banished.
Ronnie the Triangle
Synopsis: Ronnie is Joe’s oldest companion and the voice of reason in his chaotic existence. Ronnie hails from planet Isoceles, where he’s a member of the Triangle Secret Service under Triangle King Amit.
Pet Peeves: Brussels sprouts, being shot at, people who bring up the fact that triangles are two-dimensional and that technically he’s a cone.
Bob the Boobian
Synopsis: Bob is a Boobian, one of a reclusive race of beings with a one-word vocabulary (“Whoop”) and the collective intelligence of a bathrobe. Bob, like all Boobians, is ravenously and perennially hungry. His mouth leads to his personal stomach-dimension, where his various meals are stored for consumption. Bob isn’t too picky about his diet, requiring primarily of his food that it be nearby. (Bob’s most famous culinary moment was eating the Pickle of Power, which Joe had spent a six-month quest trying to find.) Bob was banished from Boobia for supplementing the official vocabulary with a few other words (usually “Food?”).
Pet Peeves: Things that are too far away to eat.
Franko the Flying Fish
Synopsis: The most aquatic of Joe’s companions, Franko is a sweet individual but about as stable as a unicyclist with a migraine. Franko suffers from frequent hallucinations, but conversely has a limited form of clairaudience, meaning that he can hear the future. Joe resents Franko immensely, but Joe pretty much resents everything and Franko’s oblivious, so there’s no harm done.
Pet Peeves: Illusory twelve-foot-tall gerbils, people who misuse the word “conversely.”
Bert Smert
Synopsis: Another of Joe’s friends, Bert is an Oparan, a humanoid race living in Galaxy Beta. Bert’s pride is his car, a space-going Jahaleys speedster that, though exteriorly rather modest, has an extradimensional interior with about as much space as a mid-sized cruise liner. (Another long story.) Bert has a tendency to drive very fast in situations that don’t necessarily warrant it (e.g. parking).
Pet Peeves: Speed limits. His sister Melba.
Mattock Blork
Synopsis: A corrupt archaeologist and recently-made enemy of Joe. Haughty and self-important, this malevolent hexagon (no relation to the evil hex in Danny Fahs’ parody) resents Joe for foiling his attempt to find the Soulwhomper of Klaar. Last seen imprisoned in a pyramid.
Pet Peeves: Being defeated, disrespect from his peers, perpetual imprisonment.
The Anti-Joe Army
Synopsis: An entire military force that evolved from an anti-Joe youth club on planet Spheroid. Relentlessly pursuing Joe across the galaxy, this group of spheroids not only seeks Joe’s demise, but holds a variety of helpful seminars and other community events pertaining to the subject. Their fury is exceeded only by their general lack of efficacy, which is partially due to the tendency of enlisted officers to execute their subordinates on whim. Speculations that the Anti-Joe Army would actually be doing themselves a disservice by destroying Joe (in that they’d be robbed of their reason for being) presume the AJA leadership looks considerably farther into the future than they actually do.
Pet Peeves: Tendency of Joe to escape their onslaughts by fairly rudimentary means.
The Circlefriends (Brenda, Jimmy, Tommy, and Tormad)
Synopsis: A young following that arose on the Planet of Unmanageable Doom. Watching Joe’s exploits on holoVid shows such as “The Galaxy’s Most Wanted”, they misguidedly see Joe as a rogue hero and attempt to emulate him wherever possible. Actual activities generally don’t achieve more notoriety than holding meetings, and occasional vandalous application of pro-Joe stickers on public property.
Trivia: The Circlefriends’ leader Brenda was a reader submission in the Design Your Own Character Contest.